Another Season and A Runner's Life for Me

"I will never do this again", is one of the persisting thoughts that paced me through the majority of my recent adventure in the Wasatch mountains. The excitement and intrigue in the distance had faded from the year before.  The reality of a hundred miles had hit and hit hard this year.  I was drained by the sun and exhausted from miles of questioning my training, pacing, nutrition,and every slight muscle twinge as I stumbled through yet another bit of the single track.  "Why was I out here?" and "What made me come?", I was searching for something and finding myself nothing but lost in the middle of the night with an empty stomach.  "What now?"

Nothing really changed for the rest of the race.  I sat back and turned off everything but the slow forward motion. I had no true idea of where I was pacing, but in my mind  I was in the range of 30 to 30+hours.  I came out on the southern side and ended up finishing around 26 hours.  I told my family at the end of the race I was done with the distance.  My family laughed a little and just  handed me an OK as they walked me to the car. I was proud of the finish they had pushed me to achieve, but at the end I felt like I had been run over by the race.  I guess that very same feeling has left me with a goal for next year.

I want to go out and work courses from start to finish with a lot more confidence.  On the second half of the course I got a chance to meet a lot of people as they passed.  The thing that was most inspiring was the runners who were out keeping pace and in great spirits even as the miles kept coming.  It was impressive to see people like Craig Lloyd cracking jokes and playing games with other runners as we pulled into Briton.  I wanted to keep up and ride off some of that energy, but I had already stopped giving a shit.  My head was hanging low, too low to see anything but just a few feet ahead of me on the trail.  I think 100 miles is as much mental endurance as it is physical.  Next year I plan to be the one with the energy.